Boxers 'n' Briefs: Plain 'n' Simple

Good (insert time of day here), 'boxers!
It's late, and I really have nothing of note to, uh, note. The ole 'say something witty' neurons don't seem to be firing off as I had hoped, so maybe I'll just give 'em a rest, and go straight to the summary. And there was much rejoicing.

1) I'll have a Scotch and Sodium, please.

2) A loss for words.

3) Icon count on Ryan!

4) For a limited time only.

5) You're not supposed to post a post dated post.

6) Teeny weeny (pre)boxes.

7) Too.... much.... information....

8) "Head North three Row-Row-Row-Your-Boats..."

9) I have to agree with chadams on the award...

10) A family after my own f... oops, I mean "heart"

11) Beading around the bush.

12) I just love the title of this post...

13) And I find the title of this post ironic.

14) What would they call it, "The HP EraserJet"?

15) The calm before the storm.

16) Do you serve Fortune Cookies with your posts?

17) Crazy is as crazy does...

And with that, I'm going to call it a (insert time of day here)!

-wassamatta_u

Boxers 'n' Briefs: Four Generations of Celebrations

Hello, fellow boxers!
This weekend was a busy one for our family, with four generations of celebrations. First, my parents (generation one) had an anniversary party Friday night (#49... one more year and they're golden!) On Saturday, there was the baby shower for my daughter (generation three): our first grandson (generation four) is due in about four weeks! Also on Saturday was a big AcroGymnastics meet for another daughter, Juli (generation three), where her trio won their second Gold Medal of the season, with the highest score they have ever received - WOOHOO!

So what celebration did we (generation two) have? Sharks won the first round of the playoffs - sounds like a celebration to me!

1) You're on your own, buddy.

2) Bring home the Bacon.

3) Blade runner.

4) Deep in the heart of taxes.

5) They aren't "bugs", they are "undocumented features."

6) Ummm... I guess I shoulda linked to this earlier...

7) Our thoughts are with you, Dixie.

8) Great Scot!

9) Big Ox on New Math.

10) Hoosier on first?

11) Baby back ribbing.

12) That's just plane gross!

13) Wings and a prayer (they'll need it!).

14) Reading between the (side)lines.

Hope you all have a great week!

-wassamatta_u

Boxers 'n' Briefs: Boxers 'n' Briefs

(to reiterate what I posted on AQ...)

I finally was able to upload all the pictures of the infamous "Boxers 'n' Briefs" that were presented to me on April Fools Day. The album is here. A description of how they were presented to me can be found on a previous blog entry. I would like to say once again THANK YOU to all the WONDERFUL 'boxers who participated... it means a tremendous amount to me, and I am truly touched and honored (though most would put an emphasis on the fact that I am truly touched). A special thanks to Happy Papaya, who organized the whole thing and, against all odds, kept it a secret! I apologize that my photographic skills are nowhere near those of lisascenic, and also there are a few that I may not have gotten pictures of (though this will be rectified, if I can use such a word when describing underwear, in the near future).

And now, without further ado (again, if that word can be used in conjunction with undergarments)...

1) Virtuosity.

2) Goal tending.

3) Good deeds.

4) This sounds like a scavenger hunt list.

5) Shameless self-indulgent Dungeons and Dragons link.

6) Tick Talk.

7) Heffalump is better than none...

8) Trading one ring for another.

9) "Does this stress look okay on me?"

10) An Affair to Dismember.

11) Clues optional.

12) Leading America's youth astray.

13) I've heard of this snaked Letterboxing.

14) We don't need no stinking badges...

Happy Tax Day, everyone!!! Have a great week.

-wassamatta_u

Boxers 'n' Briefs: Go Team!

Rats! The Race is on for Lord Stanley's Cup, but the Sharks lost tonight's game. Oh well, there's only one thing to do under such circumstances... time to hit the Pub! (Rats...)

Ok, what can I say... I love hockey! Maybe next game...

1) Raisin the stakes.

2) Criminal detergent.

3) Rising from the ashes. Or at least the mud.

4) This Bill represents Civic Doody.

5) B-b-b-b-b-ad to the bone.

6) Playing the front nine links.

7) A little extra padding.

8) Big Ox-ymorons.

9) Approving ground.

10) Do you do this with Camo Tapers?

11) More Big Ox-ymorons.

12) Eine Kleine Nacht-Boxing

13) She's hypo-energetic.

14) I don't know what it means, but I enjoyed reading it.

And that about sums it up for the week. At least in my twisted little world. Enjoy the weekend, and don't look back! You know what they say... hindsight is 50/50. Or something like that.

-wassamatta_u

Boxers 'n' Briefs: Easter Punny

Ok, so the thing is, I don't really have any interesting anecdotes for tonight. I already regaled you with April Fools exploits, and enthralled you with my Denver trip. This last weekend was my wife's birthday on Saturday... one would suspect some sort of shenanigans would ensue, but really it was rather pleasant and subdued. All six kids (and their Significant Others) showed up on Easter, so it was noisy and boisterous and crowded and lots of fun, but nothing really unusual or noteworthy occurred... so I guess the best thing to do is get on with the important stuff...

1) The fleadom to go anywhere.

2) Married in sprite of herself.

3) Get your act together.

4) He should at LEAST get a free pencil or something...

5) Definitely a seedy operation.

6) They carved out my heart and they stamped that sucker flat.

7) There's a pony in here somewhere...

8) I get all blurry just reading about reading about it.

9) Come Monday, Italy all right. (<--- Bonus Points for naming the artist)

10) You either love us or hiatus.

11) Does that make him a Yuklet Easter Punny?

12) What do big white bears get from sitting on the ice?

Hope you all have a fun and wonderful week!

-wassamatta_u

Boxers 'n' Briefs: Showing Their True Color(ado)s.

Greetings from Scenic Denver!

Ok, actually, I am no longer IN scenic Denver, but a was just a few short hours ago. Although, those "short" hours turned out to be rather "long" (more on that later).

I was in Denver for a business trip, and figured it would be a good chance to meet up with some Mile High 'boxers. After a flurry of emails, preboxed chose for our meeting a place called "My Brother's Bar." So I drove to the address she gave me, and there is no sign out front. Nothing. Just a door, and a few people milling about. I go in, and the place is packed. And loud. And dimly lit. And perfect. It turns out that this bar was once a hangout for Jack Kerouac, and the place was just dripping with "personality". I glanced around, not sure who I was looking for, and a rather surly looking waiter approached me, and asked if I would like to be seated. I said I was looking for someone, and he said "Oh, are you Mark?" and proceeded to pretend to do armpit farts. He went on to explain, while I was guffawing, that he had no idea why he was doing this, but that the people at the back table had told him to.

I went back there, and joined preboxed and murmur, as well as some other local boxers, Natural Woman and Tie-Dye Gal. We did exchanges, solved PTs, passed cooties, ordered some beer and food, and generally had a wonderful time! After a while, preboxed and I went out to do a little evening/night boxing - I couldn't have asked for a better evening! So thank you all for a great evening, and it was a pleasure meeting you all! And there - I TOLD you if you bought me a beer, I would mention you in Boxers 'n' Briefs!

1) We altoid with the idea of using mint tins.

2) Letterdetoxing.

3) Maintaining the status quo.

4) Hokey Smokeys!

5) Take this job and love it!

6) Pilling me softly with his swabs.

7) Choosing just the right word.

8) Congratulations!!!!

9) We wanna see the video!!

10) THIS is what it is all about.

11) Checking up by checking off.

12) A different kind of proposal.

13) Snaking around.

14) 476 posts later, GT decides on a word.

15) Spam scam.

My flight home from Denver was a nightmare. The flight was booked solid, and I got a middle seat. Now, I am not a small guy, but the guys on both seats next to me MADE me look like a small guy. I had to cross my arms across my chest the whole way home, because they had various parts "spilling over" the armrests. And I swear, one of the guys had eaten Mexican food earlier that didn't agree with him.

But I am home now, back to my family, and all is once again right with the world.

-wassamatta_u

Boxers 'n' Briefs: Link-a-Rama

All links, no chatter. Except this. And that. Oops.

1) Your pad or mine?

2) A virtuallist.

3) It's important to have priorities.

4) Mass hysteria.

5) Sponge dye square pads.

6) What'd you learn in school today? Sharing...

7) Dam* Snarkys

8) Poetry in emotion.

9) From AQ "Best Practices": Include actual content in your post.

10) How to make a wassa laugh.

11) Rouge warrior.

12) The Scientific Method.

13) Everyone loves clowns and balloons.

14) The Pirate Moving.

15) Shoulda stuck to armpit-farting...

16) Make sure they build in hidey-holes for letterboxes...

17) Lock 'n Load up.

18) Tweaking my nibs.

19) Where Dewey plant them?

20) Patience is a virtue.

21) Gouge potato.

22) The care and feeding of L'nLs.

23) A Spritely Success!

24) Warning: self-indulgent gratuitous linkage ahead.
a) From Happy Papaya.
b) From Art Gekko.
c) From Webfoot.
d) From Trekkie Gal.
Thank you all so VERY much.

25) Upping the stats.

26) A summary within a summary.

27) A grave question.

I think that is enough links to keep you all busy for a while! Meanwhile, I am in Denver now, where the weather is beeee-yooootiful... now if I can only get out of meetings long enough to snag some boxes! (So much for "no chatter"... *sigh*)

-wassamatta_u

Boxers 'n' Briefs: Hook, Line, and Stinker

Oh my gosh... where to begin? For those of you who don't know, there was a Gathering in San Jose, CA this last weekend... on April 1st, to be exact... called the "No Fooling Gathering." It was absolutely incredible. Renee/3CatFam did a SPECTACULAR job of organizing the event, which had 85+ people show up. There were so many highlights it is impossible to list, but since this is MY blog, I am going to concentrate on a few things that were memorable to me... in titular order (note: that means I am listing them in the order in which I referred to them in the TITLE of the blog... get your minds out of the gutter!).

The Hook:
We pulled a prank. A good one. A great one, in fact. Now, before I go any further (and many of you already know just how further I am willing to go!), I want to make it perfectly clear: this was all DemXXMen's fault. Their idea. And there is no way we could have pulled it off without them. Hats off to you, DA and CrowGirl (DemXXMen)! So here's how it went down.

A few minues after the "Group Photo", a rookie Police Officer wandered up to the picnic area, carrying a letterbox. He asked to speak to "whoever is in charge." This of course, was Renee of 3CatFam. I called (loudly so all could hear) to Renee, and told her to bring her permits. Renee approached the Officer, and she immediately started showing him the permits and paperwork. The Officer showed her the letterbox, and told her it was illegal to leave these in the park, and he quoted several Penal Codes. He told her that they all needed to be removed or that she would be cited. At this point, I recognized the letterbox as being one of mine. "Hey, that's mine!" I said, and approached the Officer, reaching for the box. He would not give it to me, claiming he needed to confiscate it as evidence. "But it's my box! I would like it back." "No, sir." "That is MY PROPERTY!" "Sir, back down or I will have to arrest you."

During this exchange, Renee kept pleading with me "Wassa, it's ok... wassa, really, let it go... wassa, just do as he says...it's just a letterbox..." I, of course, pushed on, reaching for the letterbox. At this point, the Officer quickly and professionally cuffed my hand, swung me around, and cuffed my other hand behind my back, in the blink of an eye. He then said "Please get on your knees, sir, and remain quiet." This time, I did what he asked. Renee looked on aghast.

The Officer then turned to Renee, and said "Ma'am, I'm afraid I'm going to have to cite you." He reached for his clipboard, grabbed a citation off it, and handed it to her. Strangely, there was a small piece of rubber folded up inside the citation when she took it. The Officer then added, "And by the way, ma'am... you've just been cootied."

It took a few seconds for the realization to sink in, but the eventual look of shock and relief on Renee's face was priceless. The "Rookie Cop" was my 18 year old son, John (no, he is not an Officer, he is still in High School.. but he pulled it off amazingly.) I truly believe this holds the record for the World's Most Elaborate Cootie Passing. Thank you, Renee, for being such a wonderful sport, and I actually am looking forward to the inevitable retribution.

The Line:
I really thought the day couldn't get any better... all these fabulous letterboxers, all the wonderful exchanges and new boxes and friends and food and the Prank worked SOOOOO well... I was in heaven. And then the day, amazingly, got even better.

lisascenic brought out a large cardboard box, and gave it to me. I thought it was a box of Postals that she had brought down from her jaunt up to Portland. Except, strangely, hanging out of the box was a sort of "tab" on a rope that said "Pull Me." What the...??? Well, I pulled. And pulled. And pulled some more. And the clothesline kept coming. And attached to this line... were boxers and briefs! My wonderful, wonderful friend Happy Papaya had spent months arranging with letterboxers throughout the country, this special "tribute" to the work I do on this blog. It was awe inspiring, and extremely touching... I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! But, being me, I chose "laugh"... a LOT! So to all you who participated, THANK YOU! I am honored and blessed to have such wonderful friends. And once I get back from Denver (business trip, leaving in a few hours, get to do a little boxing and exchanging there w/ preboxed and murmur and anyone else, woohoo!), I will be taking pictures of each pair of boxers and briefs, and creating a photo album so EVERYONE can see just how wonderfully CREATIVE and FUNNY these 'boxers are!

The Stinker:
Katie-bug and I had a wonderful time with our new cootie. Not just any old shove-it-in-an-open-backpack kind of cootie, mind you. This one was a real stinker. It is called The Whoopie Cootie. First, let me tell you about the most amazing, incredible, fantastic invention I think I have ever stumbled across, something so awesomely spectacular that it puts most other modern inventions to shame. That's right... The Self-Inflating Whoopie Cushion! BRILLIANT! The one down side to standard Whoopie Cushions is trying to inflate them and be discreet.. no problem here!

Anyway, our Whoopie Cootie is an orange Self-Inflating Whoopie Cushion, which just HAPPENS to be the same color as Orange PZKut. On the bottom of the cushion, we super-glued a stamp. The funny thing about this cootie, is not JUST that to get it you have to get "whoopied", but in order to stamp it into your logbook, you have to press down on the cushion, thus releasing the Humorous Noises. And since most people press repeatedly while stamping to get a good impression, you end up forcing people to make a sort of "poot..poot...poot...pooooot" sound. Laughter ensues, every single time. Needless to say, Katie-bug and her friends had a wonderful time Cootieing everyone they could with it!

So there you have it... a quick summary of a FANTASTIC Letterboxing event. I can't tell you enough what a perfect job Renee and 3CatFam did on this (and it is not JUST because I am trying to suck up after what we did to her)! Thank you to them, and to ALL the wonderful Letterboxers (and related Noxers) who came and made this event so special. Be sure to check out the Photo Album for more fun.

I know, I know... you got down here to the end, and were expecting the usual "Links." That is the only reason you read this far, undoubtedly. However, I need to get ready for my trip, and there are a LOT of links that have built up over the last week... so, if the High-Speed Internet in the hotel is working as it should tonight, I will hopefully follow up with a separate links-only BnB. Thanks AGAIN to the April Fools, and to all those that participated in the Boxers'n'Briefs box.

-wassamatta_u