Wednesday, November 23, 2011


Happy Thanksgiving! And an ESPECIALLY happy holiday to my friends MushrooM and HikerGuy Ed, two wonderful people (who are not afraid of a little "Extreme Box Planting" when I am in town!)* who recently announced their engagement. Congratulations!!!!

* Extreme Box Planting = Planting at a Police Substation on 9/11.

Now, on with the bad puns...

1) Many a true word is spoken ingest.

2) Mulva?

3) Centerfooled

4) Mapless Quest

5) Whisk alarm you work

6) Board stiff

7) Orange you glad for Grumpy?

8) Seriously... watch these.

9) Breast in Show

10) Obama Lama Ding Dong

11) We all strive for a little innard piece

12) The Poemetto State

13) WOMb Clues

14) Alcohauled in for questioning

15) Even MORE Good Advice from Grumpy

16) Torpor the Mountain

17) Anticipating Precipitating

18) We have a weiner!!!

Finally, I would really like to thank everyone for the warm birthday wishes. The letterboxing community is such a wonderful and supportive group, it means a lot to me!

Monday, November 14, 2011

A Pair of Ragged Claws

And you thought last week's blog was the last weak blog? Ha! This'll teach you!

Usually I spend a few paragraphs at the beginning of the blog nattering on about this or that, sometimes Letterboxing related, sometimes not. But much to my own surprise, and to your undoubted delight, I really don't have much to say this week! So enjoy the links, and the natterless intro.

1) Just when you thought I couldn't sink any lower, I do.

2) The wagers of sin...

3) Home, home on derange...

4) T-Rex and his Quote of Many Colors

5) Leaving nose stone unturned.

6) Mad's Skillz

7) Toilet Paper Roll Model

8) Let's Make Some Noisome!!

9) The Rite to Remain Silent.

10) She'll be there if fiasco to be.

11) Makes you feel good, donate?

12) Abasing With the Moon

13) Stone Mountain. At least it felt like it.

And now, our New and Improved Bonus Feature:
"Ancient Posts of Hysterical Significance"

14) Slumber Parody

15) Fool Plate

16) Because we just can't get enough Grumpy Poetry.

And that should about do it for this week.

But what is the deal with that strange title, you ask? And well you may.


Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Boxers 'n' Briefs: Return Of The Man Called Moose

It's been nearly 3 years since my last blog post. THREE YEARS!!!

You thought you were off the hook, didn't you?

You can thank blame Green Tortuga for that. He mentioned his idea about using the domain for blogs, and I thought it was a great idea... so now I am the proud owner of "" - which you are reading right now! Ain't technology amazin'?

I guess I should start, though, with a little explanation of what Boxers 'n' Briefs is all about. As most of you are probably aware, I follow the AtlasQuest message boards. Not some of them... ALL of them. There is always so much going on there, that it is really easy for people to miss interesting or important or funny or educational posts. This is the part where you, the loyal reader, jump to the conclusion that I will be an invaluable help to you in finding all those interesting and important and educational posts. And this is also where I will severely disappoint you.

Because, really, there is going to be very little rhyme or reason involved in my blog. Unless Grumpy Grinch gets linked. Then at least there will be some rhyme. But reason? I reiterate: you will be severely disappointed. But what you WILL get, usually, with no guarantees, is a bunch of links to posts, often accompanied by lowly puns, obscure references, and generally obnoxious wordplay. 'Cause that's what I do.

Now, a few disclaimers... I did over 65 of these blogs back in the day, each with a few dozen links. That's a lot of posts, and a lot of puns. So bear with me if I happen to reuse a joke or pun from the past. Also, you may notice a relatively high proportion of the links are to my own posts. There is a simple explanation for that: vanity. And finally, for this first blog (well, first in recent history), I am going to start with some really old posts. So without further ado...

1) Serpent Safari

2) Oh, The Wither Outside is Frightful...

3) The Saga of The Fearless Colon (Part I)

4) Romanas eunt domus? (extra points for recognizing the quote without using google)

5) The Saga of The Fearless Colon (Part II)

6) All Encompassing Skills

7) PLEASE tell me they were all in one car...

8) See? We're not the ONLY weird hobby...

9) We don't need no stinkin' patches! Oh wait, yes we do.

10) You'd have to drag me up the mountain.

11) A moment of silence.

12) Lots 'n' Lots

13) A little mandible labor never hurt anyone!

14) Suave and sophisticated.

15) I believe in Miracles!

16) I have asked myself this same question many, many times.

17) Fox in Shocks

18) The Saga of The Fearless Colon (Part III, Fin)

19) I really miss Pre.

20) Tweety bored

21) Don't rubber the wrong way!

That's probably enough for now, assuming your brain has not already melted. Keep an eye out for the next exciting issue (well... the next issue, anyway) of Boxers 'n' Briefs!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Boxers 'n' Briefs: Remember Me?

Hey kids!

I know, I know... it's been a while! In fact, I haven't posted a regular "Boxers 'n' Briefs" since the beginning of August - 5 1/2 months ago! Since that last blog entry, there have been nearly 4,000 new members who have joined the AQ Community (3,842 to be exact). So... there are quite a few of you who have no idea what a "Boxers 'n' Briefs" is all about! You have been blissfully unaware of the horrific mental anguish I am capable of inflicting upon your erudite psyche, the dreadful damage of my dubious demented dabblings, the sheer stupidity I am capable of unflinchingly imposing upon your unsuspecting cerebrum . But no longer - you have now been infected! Bwahahahaaaa!!! errrr... but I digress...

Simply put, "Boxers 'n' Briefs" is a collection of links to various AQ Message Board posts. These posts are things that for one reason or another I found interesting/amusing/thought-provoking/ or easily-punnable. It is a very nearly random sampling of much that has occurred over the last 5 months, all cleverly disguised by bad jokes, puns, wordplay, and commentary. I hope you enjoy it (or at least survive it)!

1) Yeah, that's definitely MY kid...

2) Tattootorial.

3) Alconomics

4) Cleanink Solution

5) The (Mic)Keys to the Kingdom

6) Breaking in wind.

7) When you mix "trinket" with "jingle", you get "tinkle"!

8) Three hikes, you're out!

9) Gerrymeandering

10) Dwyle Flonking - it speaks for itself.

11) Giving a Junkie her fix.

12) This, too, shall pass.

13) Taking recycling for granite.

14) 'Skeeters never prosper.

15) Cell shocked

16) A HUGE Achievement!!!

17) Lilac Blossoms

18) Litterboxing

19) Extras! Extras! Read all about 'em!

20) Pickup schticks

21) Getting organized

22) Another wild Doncoction.

23) Adhesive jolly good fellow...

24) She never disappoints..

25) The kind of mannequin trust.

26) No soup for you!

27) Joining the Rotary Club

28) Collision, Collusion, and Confusion

29) They felon the ground

30) Something to chauffeur it.

31) Hosed Captioning

32) Hellucinating

33) Yet another use for ziplocks!

34) Whatever the market will Bear.

35) "Fun is where you find it."

36) Troll stroll goal patrol.

37) Rubber Soul

38) Why we're all here.

And that is probably WAY more than enough wassa-isms I have inflicted upon your tortured souls! So, until next time (whenever that may be)... Happy boxing!!


P.S. If you have been linked or mentioned in this (or any other) B&B, you are eligible for the dubious distinction (emphasis on "stinct") of procuring your very own "Boxers 'n' Briefs Patch." Just AQ Mail me for instructions.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Boxers 'n' Briefs: I Lived, I Breathed

Hello, Intrepid Boxers!

This isn't going to be a "normal" BnB (like ANYTHING I do is "normal"). Normal is gone, out the door. Has no meaning any more. You see, I went to the most amazing "event" of my life. I went to "Live and Breathe".

To say that it was a great experience would be like saying ArchimedesScrew is an okay carver, or that SHH kinda likes Star Wars, or that Shiloh talks a little funny - it completely falls short of the mark. I know that all of you who didn't go are probably getting a little tired of hearing everyone go on about it, and for that I do apologize. But maybe if I just outline a bit of what the weekend was like for me, you can get a feel for what a unique and bizarre and uproarious and magical time we had. Note: Forgive me if I get a few details wrong - much of the weekend was a blur...

I arrived at Portland Airport (PDX) Thursday morning, and was soon met by my wonderful hostess, Maiden, as well as Poodle Dudes, Woohoo Crew, and a very funny woman wearing a shirt with the words "HI WASSA!" emblazoned on it - whom I immediately KNEW was Ki from Spiralseekers (Hi Ki!). After throwing my prodigious luggage into the back of the LetterVan, they immediately spirited me away to one of the local Letterboxing hotspots - Ikea. We quickly snagged a couple of boxes outside the store, checked the time (Shiloh was arriving at PDX shortly after me), and decided we had time to get the box INSIDE Ikea.

Ikea Mistake #1: although Maiden is a master of directions in the woods, her internal GPS gets a bit fuzzy inside Big Box stores.

Her "shortcuts" really only allowed us to roam in endless circles more efficiently. The good news was, we kept passing by these big bins of FREE LITTLE PENCILS, and I could grab another handful and stuff them into my cargo pockets with each pass.

Ikea Mistake #2: those little pencils are SHARP when you shove your hand in your pocket.

Once we eventually extricated ourselves from the clutches of Swedish Urban Design, we hopped in the LetterVan and headed back to PDX to pick up Shiloh. Shiloh was easy to spot, due to the combination of Mountain Man facial hair and blatant "Arkansas" T-shirt. Naturally, we passed right by the first time without noticing him. Apparently the "internal GPS" has trouble at airports, too.

Let me get this out of the way right now: Shiloh and I have been communicating online for a few years now, and when L&B was first announced, we immediately decided we would be "roomies". Although no doubt he regrets that decision, I gotta say that Shi is one of the nicest, funniest, most pleasant-to-be-around people I have ever met, and it was a blast hanging out with him for the weekend. Here's to you, buddy! (Yes, he bribed me to say that with a bottle of homemade mead.)

Back to Ikea, while waiting for Sits N Knits' plane to arrive. Shiloh headed out to get the boxes while the rest of us hung back doing exchanges, and in a harbinger of how the rest of the weekend would go, while we were in the parking lot, Lord and Lady Bug approached us (having noted the stamping frenzy) for even more stamp carnage.

Back in the LetterVan, back to PDX for SnK, more hugs and exchanges and luggage, and (although we CONTEMPLATED one more swing by Ikea) off to meet some other boxers for lunch! Lunch was at a WONDERFUL little English pub somewhere in some area somewhat near somewhere. (Apparently, now MY internal GPS was a bit off as well). We met, to my total surprise and incredible delight, with Lock Wench (my gosh... THE LW!! Excitement was in the air, or at least in the beer), as well as Kreepy Kelli, Dragonrider, the Wildcats, and other boxing luminaries. More exchanges, more laughter, and MORE BEER!

Pile back in the LetterVan, off to pick up Maiden's kids from school. But wait - who is there at the school? MORE BOXERS! We waved to the lovely and Happy Papaya as well as Dorks Anonymous of demxxmen as we barreled through campus on our way to... more letterboxes! Note: in a remarkable feat of skill and cunning (and spoonfeeding) I was actually able to be a First Finder on a Portland Letterbox! Woot!

After that... more letterboxes (in particular, a puzzle clue that I had solved months before but never thought I would get the opportunity to find - the spectacular "Hoot and Cheer" by demxxmen). Then meeting up with some more letterboxers, flurries of exchanges, and (eventually) some of that world-famous PNW Night Boxing.

Eventually, it occured to us that we had not eaten. Back into the LetterVan, and off to a pizza parlor and MORE BEER! The cast of zany characters at this point included me, Maiden, Shiloh, Papaya, Tonx of demxxmen, and Kreepy Kelli. Much hilarity ensued, most of which cannot be published on a family-friendly blog, but culminated in several "emergency" calls to Dorks Anonymous informing him of the preponderance of certain phone numbers being tattooed on certain body parts of certain people... it's really best not to ask too many questions...

To the LetterVan, and crashing at dear hostess Maiden's house.

It is here I would like to point out that L&B had not even STARTED yet! Hmmm, this could be a long post...

Friday morning - L&B Day!! Shiloh and I drag ourselves into the LetterVan, while Maiden, distressingly perky for it being o early, took us to a local Fred Myers (yet another mega store) for coffee and donuts. Here, she also made us run around the store looking for the most pungent, muskiest smelling liquid we could find for a special "odor-clue" night box. Nothing like "stealth" when you are shouting across half the store "Hey, Shiloh! Come sniff this, it's really stinky!"

Finally, after snagging a couple more boxes, we arrived at Camp Adams. We were there early, since Buppsters had conscripted Shiloh and I to be "Parking Monkeys". My job, such as it was, was to greet cars as they came up the dirt road, point to the big building right in front of people's faces telling them that was where they needed to go, and making sure they knew their License Plate numbers for registration purposes. I had a blast "working", since I got a great chance to meet all the wonderful boxers from all over the country before the real madness began! I tend to get a little excited under such circumstances, and spent a good deal of this time bouncing up and down as all the famous trailnames I had been dreaming about passed through!

I realize this post is getting to be pretty long, and we are JUST starting in on the actual Live and Breathe event... so, since the rest of the weekend was a bit of a blur, and to give you, the reader, a well-deserved reprieve, let's just stick to the highlights...

- I got to meet Der Mad Stamper and Raqs Enigma. There had been much speculation that if DMS and I ever got into the same room, the universe would implode. Fortunately, this did not actually occur.

- I got to meet (insert Incredibly Long List of Trailnames here), and they were WONDERFUL!

- Letterboxing. An INCREDIBLE amount of Letterboxing, at all times of the day and night. Miles and miles of gorgeous Oregon wilderness trails, wonderfully written clues, amazing stamps by boxers from across the nation, clever hiding spots... really, no words to describe it all.

- The Campfire. The skits, songs, bagpipes, and flutes were all tremendous fun. Much to everyone's chagrin, I got to perform a "sing-along" song, as well as a new song I wrote called "The Live and Breathe Song" (catchy title, huh?) Special thanks to Light-Girl (aka Lexi-bug). Also thanks to KuKu for the use of her Magical Guitar, which amazingly didn't hit too many bad notes.

- Some people will do almost anything for a PT. Like lick a banana slug, for instance. Just sayin'.

- When you are wearing a giant pair of boxer shorts, people are hesitant to shake your hand.

- When night boxing in said giant pair of boxer shorts, be careful where you stick your flashlight. Or your head.

- When you see kitten without mittens, do an exchange RIGHT THEN, because you may not get another chance :(

- Festivus is my new favoritest holiday.

- Capperpillars are cute

- It was absolutely unbelievable the amount of work, creativity, and love of the sport (and the people) that the Committee and volunteers and helpers put into this. I am agog with gratitude.

- It IS possible to laugh for four days straight.

- Lock & Locks can fly like frisbees, but they bounce like rubber balls... sorry about that, Maiden!! Samurai Stamper made me throw it!!

- deniserows makes INCREDIBLE logbooks.

- I spent an amazing amount of time doing exchanges and visiting old and new friends, and it wasn't NEARLY enough.

- Magic happens.

- Mark Pepe said it in his blog, and I couldn't agree more... "It's All About the People!!!"

Ok, really, I must sound like I am blathering on about now. I want to thank everyone who made my L&B experience so wonderful (which would be everyone there)... and thanks for indulging me in this non-traditional Boxers 'n' Briefs.


Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Boxers 'n' Briefs: Golden Child

Hiya All!

This has NOTHING to do with Letterboxing. It has EVERYTHING to do with the fact this is my blog and I can be a proud Dad on it if I want!

My daughter Juli competes in a sport called "Acro-Gymnastics". Basically, this is like gymnastic floor routines, choreographed to music and done in pairs or trios. If you have ever been to a circus, it looks a lot like what the acrobats do there, with tumbling and throwing each other in the air and forming mind-boggling pyramids and intricately balanced columns with each other.

This last week, Juli's trio went to Des Moines, Iowa, for the Acro-Gymnastics National Competition, in the "Level 7, Women's Group age 14 and under" category.

Juli's trio won the gold medal. My daughter's trio is the NATIONAL CHAMPION.



Best in the NATION.

So, I brag. So sue me.

Ok, back to Letterboxing links.

1) Holy Maskimony

2) Death by chocolate

3) Putting the "vacate" in "vacation"

4) You're not the emboss of me!

5) Working in a Methane Athylum

6) I've got a bad feline about this...

7) Portrait of the oddest

8) Mercedes Bends (out of shape)

9) You hid the box under where?

10) Now THIS deserves a patch!

11) It made a huge methanol I got was a good transfer.

12) Delayed Late Show

13) What I Did On My Summer Vacation

14) Buffalo Sold Ya

15) Emergen-scene

16) A moment of silence, please

17) How to make a Wassa jealous.

18) Zip or dey do dat

Well, that's all I have for now! Remember, if you have been linked in this (or any previous) B'n'B, you are eligible for the dubious honor of procuring your very own Boxers 'n' Briefs patch - AQ mail me for details!


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Boxers 'n' Briefs: Three

Hey, 'Boxers! Remember me? Or has that glorious eraser "time" rubbed the foul memory of my jokes off the parchment of your soul? Well, tough... here I am again, ready to write the wrongs.

So, what's been going on since last I wrote? Well, to put it in perspective, at the time of the last BnB, Ryan was still on his hike. McBoxer was busy pushing people's buttons on the AQ boards, and had nearly a month before his "big project debut". LTCs were just starting to take off, but there were no official trackers for them. And "pink" was becoming a way of life.

A lot has happened since then, so much so that it is rather pointless to attempt to chronicle it all. Instead, I am going to tell one little Letterboxing story, then proceed into the usual morass of disjointed linkage... only this time it will be even MORE disjointed. Tens of thousands of posts have occurred, so my "selection" will be very nearly random.

A few months ago, while Ryan was somewhere in the wilds of Florida, I took my daughter on a trip to San Luis Obispo, CA, for one of her Acro-Gymnastics competitions. For those of you who don't know it, SLO is the home stomping-grounds for our very own Green Tortuga. Now, I had never gotten a GT box, so I was really excited about this trip.

As it turned out (and as I shouldn't be surprised), I had very little time to myself to "escape" from the rigours of a competition weekend. I got about an hour the first day to get some wonderful boxes at a park that happened to be right near the hotel, and I was able to snag my first Amanda box. But no GT boxes. Drats!

As the weekend wore on, I was eventually resigned to the prospect of not achieving the GT goal. But fortune smiled on me, or at least stopped pummeling me with a blunt instrument, on Sunday afternoon. There was a break in the competition, and I decided to head out and get some Subway sandwiches for lunch, instead of the methane-burgers they were serving at the meet (notice how that isn't spelled "meat"). I hopped in my car, and headed down the road. As I was driving around SLO, getting wonderfully lost, I suddenly spied an establishment whose name was strangely familiar: "Leon's Used Books". HEY!!! There was a GT box in that place!! I parked as soon as I could, and as I was getting out of the car, it dawned on me that I didn't have ANY of my Letterboxing stuff with me! No sig stamp, no inkpads, and not even any clues. NOOOOO!!!!

Well, by this time I was determined. I recalled this box was "special" in that it didn't have a logbook - it was simply a stamp-on-a-magnet - so the lack of sig-stamp was not an issue. The lack of an inkpad, and especially the lack of the clue, however, were a little more worrisome. I searched the dark recesses of my memory (to be honest, that's pretty much all I have is dark recesses), and dredged up what few things I remembered reading about this box. It was around the corner from some topic-or-other that was vaguely intriguing to me... it was near the bottom shelf, but not the VERY bottom shelf... and it was at either the far right or far left of the shelf. I figured "how hard could it be?"... until I stepped inside. The front of the store looked like it was nothing more than a hole in the wall, but stepping inside was like the scene in "The Wizard of Oz" where Dorothy first steps into Munchkinland... the place suddenly loomed larger (and deeper) than it seemed possible from the outside.

Mildly daunted, I wandered through the stacks and shelves, looking for anything that seemed "vaguely intriguing" and had a metal shelf. Finally, while being vaguely intrigued by Photography, and running my fingers nonchalantly under a shelf, I discovered "that which I seeked." Woohoo!!! I found a GT box!

Uhhhh... well, I had the stamp. But no logbook. And no ink. Now what? No way I was giving up at this point. I searched through my pockets, to see what I had... and found my checkbook. Heck, it's paper, right? I looked closely at the stamp and noticed... it seemed to have some residue ink on it from previous stampers. I snuck back into one of the side-rooms in the bookstore, made sure I was unnoticed, and HUFFED like a madman on the stamp (I knew I would only get one shot at this), then quickly stamped it onto the back of a blank check. Ha!! I GOT it! I now have a voided check with a faint but definite impression of Green Tortuga's Bookstore stamp displayed proudly in my logbook. Persistence pays!

Ok, enough of this drivel. Time for the links!

1) Cents and Sendability

2) Of Mice and Mentions

3) Ask Dr. Science!

4) Mail enhancement.

5) They Might Be Vagrants

6) Tidal Waive

7) Beggars can't be Chaucers

8) wifeamatta_u

9) The 200,000th AQ Board Post!

10) Kids say the most incroedipal things

11) Dialogging your finds

12) Play-doo

13) Hail and high water

14) Puppy Uppers

15) Not all who Wanda are lost

16) A touching story

17) Homecoming

18) Yakking it up

19) I have to agree

20) "She did not see this as helpful"

21) Material Girl

22) A losing streak

23) Beautiful.

24) Obligatory gratuitous self-indulgence

25) Ice cream social

26) The Paper Chase

27) One cicada, two cicada, three cicada, four...

28) Tweet Feet, with pictures

29) Chick Click

30) Missed Manners

31) Returning from wench she came...

32) Gesundheit.

33) A far cry from Charlton Heston

34) You can't make this stuff up...

35) I tought I taw a Putty Tak...

Well, that's probably MORE than enough for now!!

But one last thing. In case you were wondering about the title of this blog entry, "Three"...