Thursday, March 06, 2008

Boxers 'n' Briefs: Fetid, Don't Fail Me Now!

I had a long day at work the other day, what with the incessant meetings and only a few chances to make use of my hand puppets while the boss was speaking. So when I got home and walked in the door (and then after picking myself up off the porch and opening the door this time before walking through), I was greeted by a horrendous smell. I mean, this was a paint-peeling stench. This was an odor obviously fermented somewhere deep in the bowels of hell and unleashed upon an unsuspecting and nasally sensitive world.

My first thought was that the dog had gotten into some bad tuna and nobody had let her outside. But after careful olfactorization and a few near-swoons, I finally determined the source of the noisome reek. A package had been delivered.

Yes, folks, that's right... I have Ryan's shoes! And they are "pristine" in the sense that they are completely unaltered from the time he took them off. They have dirt and gunk caked on them that came straight from The Swamps of Florida. If I hadn't seen it for myself, I would have SWORN that a cardboard box couldn't melt! As Ryan said in his blog: "I don't know what he'll do with them, but I sure wish I could be a fly on the wall when he opens THAT package." Believe me, Ryan, when I opened that package, there were LOTS of flies present!

So now the question arises... what to do with them? I have some ideas, but I would like to open up for suggestions. I am leaning toward some sort of money-generating thing where the proceeds would go toward AQ or a Premium Membership Scholarship or something, much like the WONDERFUL auction DebBee is holding for other Ryan paraphernalia. So send or post your thoughts, and please hurry! The cats keep trying to bury the shoes in the sandbox...

1) Cockatiels for Two.

2) Sage advice.

3) At least, you HOPE it was ink...

4) Warren peace.

5) Phases of the moon(shwr)

6) I wanda what he'll say next?

7) Letterbox recovery.

8) Things that make a wassa laugh, #1.

9) Peas on Earth, Goodwill to Man

10) Pre-pairing to box.

11) Heheheheeee.... just having a little fun... heheheee...

12) Boston T Party

13) Sumping wicked this way comes.

14) Wire we buying blades?

15) Nommercialism

16) We just call it "Pre-Speak"

17) Things that make a wassa laugh, #2.

18) Cheese Tracing? Much safer than Cheese Racing!

19) I swear I had NOTHING to do with this!

Well, that's all for now! Be sure to let me know what I should do with Ryan's Shoes! PLEASE?